copyright Bela Johnson, published in The Maine Eagle, February 2001

We hear the word so often, these days: transformation. What does it mean? Does it mean our lives will completely change? Does it require us to change the way we think and talk? Does it mean we'll have to leave a marriage, say goodbye to old friends? I know these questions well, because I have asked them myself, over the years. There are all kinds of transformations that happen in life, whether we consciously embrace them or not. For transformation MEANS change: change of condition, form, appearance, nature or function, according to Webster's. And most of us know the adage that the only certainty is that things will and do change.

Transformation happens when something has outlived its purpose in our lives. We humans grow through experience, though this can often be adverse or unpleasant. We cannot control what others say or do (though some of us may certainly try) but we CAN control our responses. I won't say that modifying responses while we are being triggered by another is easy. Yet we CAN encourage such modifications, over time. We can transform ourselves through honest self evaluation. This requires reflection. It requires time alone, where prayer and self forgiveness are almost essential, otherwise we can become hypercritical and judgmental. This self deprecation can lead to damaging our self esteem which will not help us change in the long run, but only keep us down. And while it is never easy to admit to our very human shortcomings such as our need for control, gaining insights through such reflection can nourish our relationship to ourselves as well as to others. We can learn to stop blaming others for our unhappiness or discomfort and look to ourselves to change what needs changing. In other words, we can transform our thinking, transform our way of being in the world.

Over the past decade of practicing intuitive medicine, I have received thousands of visual images which, along with energy movement, facilitate healing in individuals. This is complex, for these images can be key to a person's deeper understanding of themselves. Over and over again, images that continue to recur are those indicating the soul's need to express itself creatively and spontaneously. What holds this emergence back? Almost categorically it is lack of self worth and a belief that we can't have what we most desire. We even make excuses to hold ourselves back: no money, no time, no training. My response to these excuses, whether they come from others or from the little voice in my head during my own times of doubt, is "no faith." It doesn't matter what we call it or how we relate to it. We can achieve more by asking for Divine intervention than we can know. We can take small steps to know ourselves better, leading to a more authentic presence in the world. We CAN transform. We CAN change. And this can mean a shifting of priorities. Yet the beauty in this shifting is that things which no longer benefit us, no longer support us, tend to fall away. Yes, change can be scary. Humans are creatures of habit. But if we're feeling miserable or at a dead-end creatively, what do we have to lose by trying?

When we gain a greater perspective on our relation to the cosmos, we invite magic back into our lives, almost like the wonder a child experiences. Our lives may begin to make more sense as we gain clarity. In our excitement we might become overzealous in attempting to force what we have learned on friends and loved ones. We may begin to think we know what's best for THEM, because certain things work better for US. Yet each has her or his own path. As no two snowflakes are alike, neither are human beings. Learning that we can affect change through personal transformation gives us a great opportunity to likewise embrace compassion for others who resist such deeper understanding. As a friend who is a longtime AA member says, "Every day I am learning more about patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. Nothing I have ever done in my life has been harder, nor more rewarding."