copyright Bela Johnson, published by Inner Tapestry, February/March, 2004

Mother Earth is in a continual, if not accelerated process of birthing a new consciousness. Nothing remains static, and in her laboring, much seems beyond our control if not our desire. Thus it seems many of us are recognizing a need to simplify our lives. As more of us initiate this shedding process, we learn to release what we cannot control. As a result, more genuine relationships emerge between people as well as between us and our "stuff," whether material (our possessions but also our physical well-being) or emotional (our cumulative past as well as present-day stressors). A few key steps in helping us lighten up and scale down include:

    Living in the Present.

     Prioritizing.

     Unburdening ourselves.

     Defining boundaries.  

LIVING IN THE PRESENT. No one describes this better than Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now. The fact is, we live in a physical body. The body can only exist in the now. The mind on the other hand seems obsessed with past and future dramas.  Its main function is problem solving, and without a problem to solve, it functions just like a computer, scanning the past and projecting into the future in order to keep itself busy.

Keeping ourselves mentally occupied is endemic to the culture we live in. From an early age, we are praised for our intellect and a college education has become necessary to competing in today's job market. K-12 has become K-16 or longer, and our exposure to mental stress expands accordingly. Our love of learning often turns into memorization to pass courses, and later in life masquerades as seeking knowledge to the exclusion of better understanding ourselves and our place in the cosmos. If searching for some thing consumes us, taking precedence over Being in order to enhance awareness or presence, we have lost the essential innocence of the Seeker, and may never truly embark on the human journey for which we are destined. Remember we are human beings, rather than human doings. Finding balance in our lives necessitates a shift in this learned mental focus. If we can honor our body's need to be present in the Now, meanwhile accessing the mind as challenges occur, we will experience more wellness in our physical universe. Our bodies will feel clearer and our minds, without the constant pressure to solve the unsolvable (past) and the unknowable (future) will actually sharpen, no matter our physical age.  

  PRIORITIZING. Most of us can't do everything we'd like to, in a day. Our expectations often exceed our ability to accommodate them. What's really important? What can wait, forever if necessary? If we can learn to exist in the eternal Now, these priorities will become evident as they emerge into consciousness. We will begin, almost automatically, to slow down and pace ourselves. Most of us, however, are not "there" yet, or are not as fully present as we would like to be. Our inner and outer worlds seem in conflict, and others we live and work with may not appreciate or honor our diminishing regard for clock time. Sifting out what is essential while remaining functional in a family or work environment can be challenging, but it can be done. Families can adjust when we change things slowly, over time. Start with what is most important to you, and go from there. Say "No" when you have to. Release control over others, and you'll find they will seek alternative ways to get their needs met (a ride with a friend to a desired event, being more resourceful at home). At work, set realistic daily goals and inform appropriate others. Underestimate the overachiever in you and you just might find it all balances out. For no matter how hard you push, the work will always be there tomorrow, regardless of what is accomplished today.

Allow present-moment awareness to blossom, and you will know how to respond to any situation. Making lists is helpful in relieving the mind of its constant scanning, and eventually we may discover much on these lists which seems superfluous and can be discarded. And for those who feel that list making somehow reflects a lack of mental acuity, consider that lists can free the mind of clutter, therefore actually enhancing the mind's usefulness. If we reflect on how much our day-to-day lives have changed since the emergence of technology, I'm sure we can all agree that life has become far more complex than we ever dreamed possible. Reducing the complexities of life to what we are able to accomplish and/or learn in a day keeps realistic priorities in sight, but so does a soul-searching look into what is truly important.

UNBURDENING OURSELVES. Simplifying our lives while holding our hopes, fears and emotions inside simply cannot be done. We might be living in a smaller house with less clutter, but our minds will continue seeking ways in which to numb our feelings or to keep us busy and distracted. Being present in the body requires that we keep in touch with our feelings. If we have become out of touch with these feelings (and we are not alone in this mind-focused culture), it may take some time to sensitize ourselves to them. Many of us have remained out of touch with feelings since early childhood, when we were admonished not to cry, get angry, or express any "negative" emotion. Finding a safe way in which to unburden ourselves is key. A good therapist or bodyworker, a trusted friend, a men's or women's or other process group, even a dialogue with Creator can afford us a safe way in which to learn to share emotions as they emerge. Beware of the potential to overuse prayer-as-process, though, if it's all you do. If we do not share our concerns and sorrows as well as our joys and successes with other trustworthy human beings, we are removing ourselves from essential human interaction. Feeling that no other human being can possibly know how we feel or devaluing human exchange as trivial is a rejection of our own humanity. We cannot be perfect, and sharing our imperfections with others not only validates our suffering but gives others permission to share in an intimate way with us. Learning to communicate effectively and safely can enrich the lives of those we touch.  Secrets can be lethal. Unburden the soul.

DEFINING BOUNDARIES. For some, boundaries become fences that lock others out, but also keep us locked inside ourselves. The type of boundaries that benefit us are those in which we discover what is ours and what belongs to another.  For some, this can be as simple as designating a private physical space, sacred to oneself alone (my room, my journal, my drawer, my half of the closet).  Often, however, this reaches deeper into defining psychic space. Taking on the pain of another in order to transmute the pain in the world can be beneficial, as in the Buddhist practice of tonglen. Yet for many, the assumption of another's "stuff" translates into codependence, where pleasing another comes at the expense of our own boundaries and well-being. Sensitive people are especially vulnerable to the dissolution of boundaries when they sense pain, need or suffering in another. If you question whether you fall into this category, Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person is a helpful read.

       If we desire a more simplified existence, we must first define what that means, for us. Each leads a lifestyle particular to our own needs and circumstances. For some, scaling down might mean moving from a home we raised our families in to a smaller, more manageable space. For others, creating time for simplifying our mental space might be paramount. In all cases however, we can benefit through the practice of mindfulness and present moment awareness, leading us into the only place we can truly experience simplicity, the eternal now.