copyright Bela Johnson, published by The Maine Eagle, April 2002

Just the other day I was reminded of an old mantra I learned years ago. "My mind is the servant of my heart." A mantra is a prayer of sorts that is repeated over and over with the intent to unlimit the mind. Expanding the mind is what we do every time we learn or incorporate something new. And there is a lot to learn when it comes to revealing our human potential as souls experiencing life in a physical world. It's amazing how intellectually involved we can get with the soul's journey. We so badly want to UNDERSTAND that we tend to lose our focus on FEELING. Feelings are the expression of soul. When we want to consciously embark on the soul's journey, we must get in touch with these feelings. Soul must be EXPERIENCED, felt. Heart can attune us to feelings. Heart can help balance ego and cue us when we have tipped too far over into the perils of personality.

We live in a society focused on DOING. We collectively measure success by what we have accomplished materially, by what we have to show for our labors. And though possessing THINGS might help allay our fear of survival, these things will one day pass out of our grasp, much the same as the body does upon physical death. If all is eventually dust to dust then, what is left to mark our journey through life? This remainder, what we leave behind, might be thought of as our soul's imprint. Few of us like to think we will pass through this life unnoticed or unappreciated. Reflecting on this is often what sets us on a path of self realization. Some of us know we are meant to share something with humanity. Others feel moved to "leave the campsite cleaner than we found it," to quote an old Boy Scout saying.

What does YOUR heart tell you? How does emptiness gnaw at you? Sitting with our feelings of fearing we are somehow not enough is a double-edged sword. One edge threatens us with self destruction. The other edge sharpens our own inner quest and urges us onto some greater vision for what we will contribute. If we can sit with discomfort long enough, if we can stay with uncomfortable feelings while validating our right to exist, we often feel moved and, in the process, may rattle loose a kernel of uniqueness. This little egg, if you will, is our potential creation. It is not something the personality births but is rather a divine spark of Soul's expression. THEN Mind can come in and evaluate it. Then Mind can go to work, figuring out how best to fashion its expression. If somehow we then begin to fret and worry, we have lost communication between Mind and Heart. Mind and its fears of survival are taking over. The mind's process of rationalization can work to remove every shred of confidence we have. We then begin to think of ways our plan will never work. Mind sabotages Heart and we slump back into despair.

In the French language, the word for heart is COEUR. From this word coeur comes the English word COURAGE. Heart helps us take courage, and we must not lose this courage if we are to succeed in bringing our soul's seed to fruition. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it takes us out of our comfort zone. Is it worth it? The "it" being the journey of soul we so often hear about? Each of us must come to this on our own. We don't make a decision as such, for that implies this is a mental process. It is not. Remember soul is experiential, it is experiencing our creative potential. Creation might be defined as form emerging from chaos. Chaos is the mother of creation, and we may experience an increase in chaos as we encourage Soul to awaken within. And though immersing ourselves in chaos might be the road to our own creative process, we must also be aware that our minds will not necessarily support this process! This is where the little mantra comes in handy, "My mind is the servant of my heart."

Mind seeks order, and we might start feeling a little crazy as we move into deeper layers of our being. Rather than waiting until we are in crisis however, it is important to seek ongoing guidance and support and to allow ourselves time to reflect and meditate on this inner awakening. We might not "figure it all out," but we can learn to accept movement in our world, accept the basic nature of reality which is that nothing remains fixed. As we accept this more and more, we learn to "go with the flow," allowing ourselves to be moved to a greater degree by our instincts and feelings. Acceptance of movement enriches our life experiences, taking us into deeper levels of engagement with our own unique nature. As we accept our uniqueness, we begin to experience a genuine longing to know and care for others with equal intensity. Instead of categorizing and labeling others in our familiar way, we are more able to see and value the richness of heart we all share. Each human being holds something within them that is unique and valuable. And crazymaking as it might be at times, revealing this value to ourselves is the work of soul. As Robin Williams says, "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."